November Love

Posted on Tuesday, 3 November 2015

November feels like a fresh start in many ways.  And to quote my full moon horoscope (I am a gemini) from Aquarius Nation you can find on the Bohemian Collective blog,

"You are getting this sort of oil change to your whole system and it will feel like a fresh slate where you are not bound by your past or your wounds in determining your life manifestations.  This feels like freedom and awakening.  When you discover this way of dealing with life through your feelings, you discover a new path that gives you so much more freedom to just be. You don’t have to think them through anymore, you just have to say, oh, that felt icky, I am not going towards that. And, oh that felt so energizing and exciting, I AM going towards more of that...." 

I love the idea of a freedom to just be. This idea has been circulating around conversations with friends, my own experiences and many articles I have read as of late. There is this game we play, who made the rules I have no idea! But alas we play being aloof, not showing we care too much, having others opinions before we send that text, waiting hours to reply to seem "busy" and dancing around things we actually want to say. This game doesn't allow me the freedom to just be. And if intuition serves right, and it usually does I just choose to ignore, then I already know the right course, it's in my, it's waiting to be followed. This fear of being seen as at an all time high in the dating world, especially when we have created so many avenues to show our perfect selves. I learned a powerful lesson in my acting class along these lines. I was trying so hard to "perfect" an activity that I blocked all the real and interesting parts of myself that are so valued in acting. I pushed it all down, not wanting to be seen and that did no service to my acting partner or myself. What resulted was me crying my eyes out during our discussion feeling like a failure. But I didn't fail, I learned that not being perfect and bringing my full self to it, even making mistakes in the activity is more than ok, it is actually what people want to see. There is also a kindness we can show and express when things don't go our way. We never know what is happening in someone else's life, we shouldn't assume either. I recently went out on a date with a guy that approached me at work, I was extremely excited because he was cute and confident and also had an affinity for emojis in text. I planned a cool date (at least I thought so) took him on a ghost walk which we learned about all the rituals of the death and dying in the Victorian age. It was raining most of the night which only added to the spookiness and I wore a very cute Brigette Bardot inspired outfit, it was a good night! Well that was our first and only date, he didn't want to see me again and that was totally ok. I did something I wanted to do, talked about things I actually like and was very much me. Things aren't always going to work that way we think they should, but I really believe, truly believe there's a way better reason for it.

Photos, Hair and Makeup: Alison Sharp
Styling: Ana Alic
Dress: Jordan de Ruiter

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